Apparently the word ‘bossy’ is disproportionately applied to women, which is sad if true. But the solution is not to ban the word, not least because of the irony of anyone reacting to possibly just criticism by silencing it isn’t so much ‘bossy’ as a ‘little Hitler’, which could serve as a nice ungendered alternative to replace ‘bossiness’ with.
The danger is it’s a classic sociopath’s tactic to deflect criticism by making out they’re the victim of a broader conspiracy, and narcissistic to seriously believe the problem cannot lie with them, their demands are entirely reasonable and indicative of positive qualities that others can’t handle. Get this piece by Hadley Freeman:
“It will come as a massive surprise to no one to learn that I was called bossy quite a lot as a kid, and still am (although I wouldn’t have to be bossy if people would just bloody well do as I say). Yet it’s never bothered me, mainly because I grew up idolising Miss Piggy and Lucy van Pelt from Peanuts, and never saw bossiness as anything other than a wholly commendable quality.”
Obvious ironic comment besides, are Miss Piggy and Lucy really good role models? Good God No. They’re manipulative and regularly resort to screaming and violence when they don’t get their own way. They’re spoilt and selfish and each has a violently grandiose sense of one’s own entitlement. Chuck in Hadley’s comment ‘it’s never bothered me’, and the problem clearly for her is she’s a sociopath.
Surely she’s joking??!