Post telly

As a result of our TV having bought the farm, we can now get rid of the DVD and VHS players, and the TV-Vid trolley on which they sat. That’s liberated the corner alcove, where we can now stash the bureau, making the room seem that much bigger, and making it suddenly obvious we can and should put shelves into both alcoves, creating enough space to put all the CDs and DVDs (to play on the computer) in the house and meaning we can dump another two sets of shelves in other rooms. It’s also left the chimney breast clear, so we think sod it, restore the mantelpiece and hearth and have a proper fire. Who’d have thought so much could come from the expiry of our cathode tube?

And yet we still watch TV on iPlayer, e.g. Glastonbury, which more resembles Ascot these days, but as the missus says you get to FFward to the groups you want and the songs you want to hear, without the queuing, the camping in a field of piss, the all-night racket, the smelly hippies or stoners falling on your tent at 4 am. All the choons and none of the shite – result!!

For her. Not that I would ever watch it, let alone go. I was born middle-aged. Smoked a pipe before learning to use a baby bottle.

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