1) I was in Morrisons earlier in need of a piss, and not knowing where was the loo I amusingly thought I could just go in my shorts. Then it occurred to me that for a 6-month-year-old that would simply be the solution, no consideration required.
2) Driving up the A695 hill, the heavens opened up in a fabulous array of great white and grey clouds, towering cliff-sides and mighty battleships cruising through the blue sea of the sky. There was one massive mountain of cloud that soared thousands of feet from base to summit, but in its middle it had opened up to reveal a stunning billowing cloudscape all side-lit by the Sun, and it reminded me of the kind of cloudscapes you’d see in those huge religious paintings from centuries ago, and for all of a second I got the same ethereal sensation, that other-world sense I did as a child when seeing such monumental beauty, or when the wind’s in your hair atop a valley … and then the feeling fled, and I realised these days I feel that so seldom and fleetingly. What gets in the way?
3) In Toon earlier we saw an ad with that ridiculous pillock Simon Cowell fronting another shit-fest of X Factor – which, which, let me confess, I would nonetheless out of sheer masochistic apathy end up watching and howling and scowling at, were it not for the fact that our telly died. Having the ol’ tel’ six feet under at the landfill means we get to dodge any number of depleted-shit bullets that would otherwise be sniped at us in our own home. Ding Dong the Hitachi’s Dead