This month am down in Blaydon six pre-dawn mornings a week, doing a total body transformation class off these chaps, which is very good indeed, and has an accompanying nutrition plan which is on the face of it quite spartan, and one feels one’s self thinking ‘who’d know if I had one more oatcake biscuit thing?’ – yet you abstain! The margins of error are wafer thin, and you’re not even allowed a wafer (well, not many). But it’s as much I think about breaking habits, just like when the telly died we no longer could watch Family Guy at 11pm so had no incentive to bomb down to Sainy-Bs at 1050pm to get choc, so … we don’t. And after a couple of weeks of not diving into Greggs, which I did once at three separate Greggs one day walking through Toon, now one doesn’t really feel the need.

Also down in Blaydon is Morrisons, and you go in, and first aisle up is the fruit and veg bit, with salads on the left, then meats beyond … but to get to all that first in your way are huge cubic piles of boxes of Walkers Crisps, 32 packets for £3, or walls of Boulmers Cider or boxes of Coors and Carlsberg and Coke. And these aren’t just at the entrance but have been intricately built in odd spots elsewhere in the store, despite there being their own special designated aisles for these sorts of stuff. Then there are trees of wine planted here and there, then you notice at the end of each aisle, regardless of what that aisle is, there’s SPECIAL OFFERS of boxes of chocolates, fizzy drinks, beer, Pringles, ketchup and baked beans, shelves of OFFERS basically book-ending the aisles with discounted salt/fat/sugar/alcohol. Then you’re at the tills where as you’d always get anyway are flanking shelves of impulse purchase chocs, but what there is as well are more like walls again of Roses tins, or Quality Street, or Coke, all the way down, funnelling people through the checkouts.

You cannot move for temptation from total shit.

Well I’m not tempted, possibly I’m more aware of all this and now think I can’t be bothered …

Still miss sausages, though.


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