Foxtons has an outlet in Brixton, but it seems every time there’s a community event on in the place, Foxtons have to board up the shop. No-one else sees the need to do this, and it surely stinks a bit for these slags to come extol the virtues of Brixton to home buyers and renters at hyper-inflationary prices, but be so desperately paranoid about the locals they have to barricade themselves in. Do the staff get danger money? Honestly, piss off.

Foxtons in Brixton

I went for a job at Foxtons in about 2002, just for a laugh, to see what it would be like. They held a recruitment session in their large open plan office in West London, big fleet of Minis outside, and we had various tests, socialising, schmoozing, an interview. I knew I’d failed when in this one test this woman said this is the deal, what do you think of that? and went around us in a circle as we articulated different ways of saying ‘great’, and I couldn’t think of anything original, and said something shit, whereupon she immediately took my name and wrote it down. They had a large room with banks of phones and 20 year olds hammering at the phones, and this big button in the middle of the room that they would come and press when they’d made a sale. Didn’t get the job, obviously wasn’t sociopathic enough.


Men had hair like this in them days. But not me.


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