The Dog of War

Ben-dog’s farts have taken out almost the entire ground floor. It’s like Verdun down there.

I have a theory about this. Last week the poor sod had to have his other eye removed … since then his farts have become positively evil. I think he’s upped his guffing powers to compensate for his absolute lack of vision, he deals with any potential predators by pre-emptively gassing the room and everything in it. This would be to anyone else a war crime and a heavy burden upon their conscience, and particularly so it would be for so moral a hound as Ben-dog, but wonderfully, as he can’t see his victims, he’s no idea who or what lies dead due to his indiscriminate carpet-farting / industrial-flatulence. Guilt-free peace.

 

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