GBberish News

Listening to GB News yesterday, Calvin Robinson, the strange man of God who doesn’t like ordained women so joined the CofE where a third of ministers are women, to do what, shout about it? Anyway he’s seized on the WEF as the thing to feed his paranoid minions, with two guests, one called Nigel (not the one we all know and loathe) and another guy who sounded Scouse, who said re free speech ‘people should be able to say what they want without fear of losing their jobs’, then went on to say the CEO of Netflix had it right when staff complained about the way trans were portrayed, ‘if you don’t like it, leave’. These are surely mutually opposing positions: say what you like and not lose your job, say what you like and lose your job? Fuckheads.

I think they troll themselves sometimes. Crimes going on about how we voted for Brexit to take back control of our borders, we’re all so upright and defiant, no-one tells US what to do! This prog ad comes after the daily news bulletin, ‘record numbers of cross-channel migrants!!!’, underscoring how shit Brexit actually is. Again, though, tying this up, cognition? Fuck that.

Today I toured IKEA for cheap tealights. This is where we’re at, stocking up on tealights to forego the energy costs. I’m going long on tealights to corner the tealight market. I’ll be the local kingpin for tealights, a tealight magnate. Colleague at work said they have a log burner what they never use, but soon will be, and she’s on the lookout for any twigs or branches and the like. It’s going to change everyone’s way of thinking, acting, we’ll end up chopping down and burning all those trees we need to soak up the CO2 that’s otherwise setting the whole place on fire anyway (and worsening the situation).

Funnily enough having ordered a ton of candles, obviously they think ‘he’ll like some of these candelabras’, so I’ll become a Liberace-style candle mafia Don. Strange how one’s life ends up.